Where Every Cat Matters and Every Cat has a Story
Friends of Felines Rescue Center, Defiance, OH 43512

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Secret Meeting

I’m telling you two for the last time, quiet. 

Sorry, Putter.  But are you really sure what we’re doing is legal?  I mean taping a conversation between cats just doesn’t sound right.

Listen Paddy, don’t you think I’ve looked into it.  Some web cammer sent Jacci this little camera and microphone, so of course it’s legal.  They wouldn’t sell it if it wasn’t.  Geesh, you Persians are more trouble than your worth.  I knew I should have taken Octavia.

 Oh, dear, I’m so scared.  I have to go to the bathroom.  I just know someone is going to miss us.

 Quiet down Cakes, look I have this all planned out.  Sunday night Cheri comes in and all those cammers want to see are those stupid kittens, so we have this two hour window where no one will notice us gone.  And I know those Sun Porch Cats are planning something.  I overhead them talking a few days ago about this secret meeting they were having.  So I planted the camera on Mew.  He’ll never notice it.  We just have to get close enough to listen in with this transmitter thingy. 

But, Putter I’m so scared, I’ve never been outside before.  Why are those chickens watching us?

 Listen Purr, I’ve got it covered.  No one will hurt you; just stick close bye and both of you keep quiet. Ignore the chickens.  But if you see the goats, run for your lives.

 Oh, dear.  I have to go again. 

 Quiet Cakes, I think I can hear Hank.  Yup, of course Mew won’t stop mewing, but Hank is coming in loud and clear.  Ok, Cakes you take notes, and keep quiet.  Hank’s beginning:

 All right, listen up cats, yes I mean all of you.  Get in here Cliff.  Come on, it’s just for a few minutes while I talk to you all.  Fine, you can wait at the door, but pay attention.

 Ok, I’ve called all five of you here tonight to talk with you about a serious situation that has developed.  It’s beyond bad.  It started around  April 1st and at first I really thought it was a joke, but it got worse and worse.  Now it’s completely out of control.

 And we, the Sun Porch Cats of FFRC are NOT going to take it anymore.  Mew, I’m telling you, quiet down so everyone can hear me.

 As unbelievable as it seems, the Cove Cats have been getting treats sent in by the web cammers.  Now we get treats too, but ours are from the main center.  The Cove Cats have been getting deliveries with their names on the boxes.  Someone sent them 6 bananas.  Can you believe that?  They got a whole box of Fancy Feast appetizers.  And do you know what the box said on it?  Yup, that’s right To the Cove Cats. 

 And I overheard a visitor talking, saying, hold on to your ears..”oh, the Sun Porch cats are part of the Cove Cats, right.”  Oh, my Garsh!  We cannot have this continue.

The time has now come for us to take control.  How dare those Cove Cats think they are better than us, with their fancy “winter home” and now they are getting it all fixed up because they get a flood now and then.  We are the cutest and smartest FFRC cats and garsh darn it, we are going to set the record straight with those little people in that little box on the wall in the Center.

We are the Sun Porchies…hear us roarrrrrrr.

 So, as your leader I, Hank FFRC Moss do pledge that I will make sure that everyone knows just how cuddly and cute and incredibly wonderful we six are here on the porch.  We will tell our stories and we will be loved just as much as Sevaun and her Cove Cats.  People will know just who the Sun Porch Cats of Friends of Felines Rescue Center are.  And we will make sure those Covies know that they may share the farm yard with us, but this is our yard. 

Olaf, wake up, I’m not finished yet.  All of us need to get our stories out.  We need to sound intelligent.  Hey Big Al, try and use complete words, don’t just say “ya, ya, ya.”  OK.  Did you just “ya” me?

 Look, I know we all have our little “issues” but compared to the Covies, ours aren’t so bad.  Yes, I know the reason we are Sun Porch Cats are that we can’t handle being inside.  We get really, really stressed when inside for any length of time.  Cliff, come on back boy.  It’ll be alright just a few more minutes.

We need to make sure that everyone knows we are not Feral Cats like the Barn Cats.  We’re friendly.  We come and go as we please through the cat-door on the side.  We can sleep in the cat-shed.  We have a heated shed in the winter.

We have beds and cushions and all sorts of furniture in the sun porch and the shed.  But when  we get stressed we can go outside and get fresh air and calm down.  That’s our only issue.  Ok, well we may have some waste management issues, but who doesn’t?  We have talents, we have dreams.  We have food and shelter and love.  We are hugged.  Who doesn’t hug Big Al, every single day?

Name me one volunteer who can resist rubbing Cliff’s belly?  Fabio is even let in the center sometimes to just hang out and “blend in”.  Remember the day Jackie and Donna thought you were Badu!  What a hoot.  We all laughed at that for weeks.  We have a sense of humor.  We are fun.  Hey we could be the fun porch cats.

So beginning tomorrow, I expect each of you to get in front of the little people and tell your story.  Speak up, speak clearly.  Yes, Cliff you too.  We will woo them with our intelligence, with our wit, with our purrs.  They will forget who Soy Boy even is once we tell our stories. 

So who wants to go tomorrow?  Olaf?  Cliff? Big Al? Mew? Fabio?  Fine.  I’ll go first.  I’ll do it outside though.  These walls are starting to close in.  Let’s all get some fresh air.  Someone had too many sardines for dinner.

Remember guys, we are the Sun Porch Cats.  This is our land.  Oh, don’t forget to ask the little people in the little box to send us some Temptations.   Meeting adjourned.

I knew they were planning something.  Ok, deputies let’s get this information back to the Center.  Looks like we’ll have to monitor boxes closely for the next few weeks and make sure we change the labels on any boxes addressed to the Sun Porch Cats.  Those treats are ours!  Oh, boy here come the goats; every long haired cat for themselves.  Cheri, don’t lock the door.